They/Them and YOU! Embracing Language Change

Embracing Language Change
If you had a traditional public education in the United States, your English classes emphasized correctness. You may have even diagrammed sentences to portray the relationships among the various words and sentence parts. One of the hardest tasks can be keeping pronouns straight because they depend on which noun(s) they represent and how they appear in sentences. Subjects and objects require different pronouns. Pronouns may also indicate gender for humans (and some animals).


Some school exercises may look like this, with directions to circle the correct choices.

• Give the pencils to she/her and they/them.
• The secret was well-kept between he/him and I/me.
• They sat behind she/her and I/me. 

Now, getting it all straight isn’t easy for some people. Perhaps you have witnessed how a few otherwise competent people get it wrong when they assert “between you and I.” When pronouns need to be in the objective case, people often get mixed up (“between you and ME” is correct).
Times change, and those who study the field of linguistics know that our English language embraces new words and new ways of using language quite regularly. As social movements emerge and progress, new ways to write and speak come along. Yes, dictionaries CHANGE! Grammar and usage change too!


What was correct when we were taught is not necessarily correct today. Take, for example the use of the gender-specific pronouns he and she. When the gender of the person being referred to is clear, the choice of pronoun is simple, as in “John went to the mobile phone store. He was eager to get the latest smartphone.” However, it can be awkward when gender isn’t clear, as in “We received two letters from Lauren this morning.” Instead of struggling to say “she or he” or writing s/he, common use has evolved to using the pronoun they--even when the antecedent is singular.


And furthermore, it might not be just the speaker or writer who is not forthcoming about the gender; an individual might prefer not to claim a specific gender. It is becoming customary to use signatures that indicate favored pronouns. For example, you might come across a signature like this: Dale Evans, they/them.


This article from The Guardian explains how to use they/them pronouns for non-binary individuals in your life. 


There are even those who propose that the use of gendered pronouns be eliminated entirely and others who have a great deal to say in opposition, asserting that hard-fought (and slowly won) gender battles should not be diminished. The articles linked below share the pros and cons of this controversy.

• https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/actually-we-should-not-all-use-they-them-pronouns/
• https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/voices/why-we-should-all-use-they-them-pronouns/

NOTE: The Museum of Teaching and Learning wishes to respect the choice of individuals and are happy to use they/them when preferred.